By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize