I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
