thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
