He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
