There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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