shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
