Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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