I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
