I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
