i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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