I'm going to jail i love you
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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