Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So squirting runs in the family.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
