So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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