Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I love having hate sex.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
