i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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