You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
