Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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