I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
