How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
