Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
