Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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