Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
