whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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