he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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