take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
