Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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