he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I need a beard to bite.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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