At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
