Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
