And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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