home. puking in laundry basket.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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