if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
