I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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