READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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