its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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