Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize