I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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