it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
