i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
