Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
