im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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