maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
