He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
