Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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