I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So here I am, sexting at work.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
