How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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