Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
