So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
