She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
