Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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