lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
