I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
