I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
