I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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