So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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