Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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