I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
